And good on Tim for sticking with you despite those relatives asshole behavior. Or are they the kind of people who will just keep being assholes? The men in your life are toxic. Want you to be happy? Where do they even escalate from here? Hiding an inhaler? My mom's husband who he despises for no good reason but has helped heal so many of my scars and has been more of a father figure will also be in attendance. On of my very adult colleagues is called "Timmy" by everyone, and if you call him "Tim" he'll (nicely) correct you. Stick to your guns, because you're completely right. For the people telling OP that shes TA for not cutting off sooner, please understand that for most people that grow up in this type of environment we become slightly apathetic to it and make excuses cause we think its NORMAL. And the inhaler is really helpful but they probably wont need to call an ambulance if I dont have it and cough we dont know that my bronchi will stick with inflamed enough to not be able to talk or move around doing tasks of daily living. Its not something that keeps me up at night, even if I have recently started coughing outside the house (before COVID) when I didnt have my inhaler because I hadnt needed it when I didnt have a cold for years. Thats a crime and in some cases fatal. Must be tire then! That is what they are clear and simple and now their pranks have turned deadly. Hey Timmy Jr! They might show up anyway and cause an embarrassing scene for "pranks" and revenge. I completely agree. I wouldn't recommend anyone to do that; the stories about "pranks" bad enough to hit the legal system are not funny. Your family is a bunch of assholes. And op's mother is part of the problem, asking Op to "be the bigger person". They are all stupid creeps. Jesus. ESH minus your Fianc who should gtfo to be honest. I knew a lot of stuff was bad or unhealthy, but I'm still learning things even to this day. I would have been gone the moment I realized my "partner" thought any of this was okay. Who thought it was a great idea for an asthmatic person to go on a 3 day trip with 4 individuals who had already slashed his tires to "see what type of man he is"? (Think judgmental) So I did my darndest to keep him away from them. Id tolerate an event with lots of people where they were there but I didnt have to speak to them. Your family went in the bullying / torture zone with their pranks. If your mother ends up not going at least she has made her choice and you know that. You're siblings are just pissed because now they'll be targeted. He needs that to live! Exactly. What are the odds Timmy the Collegiate Asthmatic makes twice as much money as all of the REAL MEN put together Then I am so glad that OP isn't one of the women who "marry their father". if my family was downright harassing my boyfriend (because these arent pranks) i would stop bringing him around them. "Family" doesn't mean anything. You are protecting your fiance from bullies. It has been great having her back and we've gotten so close again. NTA. Fuck them. I have mild asthma and have never needed a hospital (its either exercise induced, or triggered by my having a cold or something and my immune system deciding that while its doing inflammation anyway why not go into bronchitis for 2 months?). And now youre questioning whether youre the asshole for uninviting them to your wedding?! Tell him they're for his wife or next of kin. OP has screamed at them to stop, and they only escalated the severity of their hazing. Who slashed tyres as a prank? Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out. You dont realize its abuse until it's to late. I remember when someone first suggested I was being emotionally abused, I thought they were being ridiculous. He was probably trying really hard to put up with this behavior because he loves her so much. Everything that came before is bad enough but people DIE from asthma. NTA. Your male relations are bullies. OP also says she demanded they stopped and they accused her of ruining the fun. To be fair, it is quite likely that they have bullied her for her entire life too. Wow I wonder how manly they would be if your poor partner suffered a major attack and sadly passed. Or your future hubby might. I can't even imagine feeling even slightly like that on a regular basis. Otherwise leave Tim and let him find someone that will respect him enough to not let her family torture. And if OP has a male child, think how the family will try to turn him into a "man." Wtf. You should have nipped this in the bud after the first incident. Someone questioning their own sanity and ability to differentiate between harmful bullying and harmless Pranking. NTA I have a large amount of male cousin I am female they joke but nothing like what you are describing. Absolutely, Im shocked that they didnt. Not from you though, so NTA. They are criminals acts and dangerous abuse. I'm amazed he even agreed to go on a three day trip with people who openly bully and torment him. They already didn't respect op fiance and are the huge asshole but why asking him to go on a trip with them when they show multiple time how awful they are. What theyre doing arent pranks your fianc doesnt have to prove ANYTHING to your family. What if he had an asthma attack whilst driving back to you. And then expect better from family. They were so busy feeding their egos that it didn't occur to them that they were jerks who were committing a crime when slashing tires and seriously risking the fiances life when they hid his inhaler. He said its not fair she gets everyone and he gets no one. Your family is criminally dangerous. I want the uncle to argue it was just a prank to a judge. Nta for uninviting them, because its Tim's wedding too and I wouldn't want people at my wedding who might abuse me. You're lucky Tim is tje guy he is. Often time these kids grow up and explain that they behaved badly to get attention diverted from abuse of other people in the home. You need to make your choice now, its your family - who will probably run off any other man you bring home unless they're as messed up as your family - or your fiance. Responding to the Redditor's decision to uninvite his mother and sister from his wedding, thousands of commenters assured the 32-year-old that he was justified in doing so, and dragged the two . I was thinking "surely there must be a law against hidng someone's medication, that could be so fucking dangerous. Most of us grow out of that around puberty, and those that don't absolutely deserve to feel the consequences of their poor choices because what excuse do they have? Like a mechanic, finds whats wrong then fixes. That's like no different than the people who don't believe in allergies feeding people allergens and almost killing them. NTA its bullshit toxic masculinity, men do not test each other like this unless they have frail egos themselves. I hope she doesnt cut off the family for him, but for herself. I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. Wtf ! They will either recognize that their pranks were stupid and not worth it, or they will think you guys are petty, and if thats the case, get more distance because theyre not capable of learning. Right. Tell them that real men don't need such immature posturing. Eeesh. These men are absolute Neanderthals! NTA and the fact that everybody in your family enables it is so concerning. Time to tell dad that people find him to be a thug and a criminal and don't respect him because he treats people badly. Recently, he TOLD ME he was taking my car to see his bio son. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Especially with your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him. Tow it to a tire shop. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! Starting a married life together is supposed to be a wonderful thing, it's not worth letting it get soured by people who's opinions don't even matter like yours does. No no, they do find things wrong with you, to fix it. They committed destruction of property at the very least. Not just for your fiancs sake, but yours. I've been there. My siblings have disowned me and speak badly about me and the situation. From what you've said I sure don't. Dude yta for allowing this to go on as long as it has. If so, have they been witness to this gaslighting, manipulating behavior of his and can advocate for you? NTA. I dont see how he can maintain a proper level of mental health while being involved with your toxic family members. NTA. Im waiting for the post here titled Would I Be The Asshole If I broke off my engagement to a woman whose family has been terrorizing me?. Yet they all have immense respect for women and they dont think being able to breathe without an inhaler makes you manly. Those scars leave a mark. NTA they took the pranks way too far. Thats it. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Seriously, OP has definitely shown Tim her priorities. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! She wont. Its a messy situation and it will most likely be a rocky marriage as your family set the tone for it with their nonsense trying to test your partners manliness. They don't deserve To go. Your family were bullying, harassing, and assaulting your fiance, and until they understand the severity of their actions and apologize, I wouldn't ever allow myself to be alone with them again if I were him. The fact that Tim tolerated their bullying for so long without dumping you or calling the cops was awful. This is THE hill to die on. Nta. That could have been fatal. violence isnt just physical aggression against an individual.) totally agree. Also your mom is an AH as well for enabling her husband and son. Tyre! That wasnt a prank. Theyre bullies & bullies only learn when someone stands up to them. NTA! Press J to jump to the feed. OP if you see this have your fiance go slash each and everyone of their tires and when they inevitably freak out throw the prank back right in their face."WhAT He WaS JuSt pRaNkInG aNd TeStInG yOuR "MaNhOoD": these family members are just pure evil and have no respect for either of you. You wouldn't be much of a partner if you didn't put your foot down. Hiding inhaler is not a joke and slashing his car tires, i assume they paid money to get things right? I suggest you tell them that you understand that they're intimidated by someone with a real education and who idea of fun isn't dumb jock humour but that you moved beyond such immature behaviour and they're out of your life until they apologise to TIM and if they ever "prank" him again they out forever. Damn he must love you to have continued to be abused. All the best to you both with your marriage! Stick with your fianc, start your own family and use them as examples of what not to turn out like. They have it, but it burns everyone around them. NTA these are not pranks, this is just immature and terrible behavior. "AITA for letting my family bully my fiance to a point of endangering his mental and physical health?". "NTA. After I graduated my mom and I repaired our relationship and now are best friends. NTA - I'd tell Mom she'd better stfu and stop enabling or else she's going to be uninvited too. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I'd pick stepdad, he chose to be family. Will they do this to him?? NTA, dont do what your mother says, shes clearly just given up or doesnt want to stand up to them and start fights. Came here to say thismy tires are expensive afthis isnt a prank its a crime, Not to mention slashing tires is a straight up crime. Check out our upcoming Reddit Talk With John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST. I doubt anyone here would find the choice so easy if they got stuck with it either. Who would want to marry into a family where you're constantly tested based on toxicly masculine standards. Indeed and "it's just stuff men do..' No, no it isn't. To keep the peace they just put up with it. Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle. INFO did you talk to her about how it hurt your feelings? I had my first asthma attack when I was 5, and I don't know when this whole "test" thing starts in your family, but it has the potential to kill your future kids. It might be beneficial for you to also post this in r/raisedbynarcissists and do some research (if you haven't already) on narcissistic parents. My stepdad doesnt have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and wont buy his own. NTA- people can die from an asthma attack. SSDGM. Stand your ground. NTA, the men in your family are full blown psychopaths. Well it's not like the asthma is real anyway, so why would he really need it? Those are the only answers any concerned parties need to know. NTA - stand your ground. This is the reason to establish care with a trusted GP so that if somethjng goes wrong you aren't in that situation. All these grownass dudes doing this just cannot see they're actually showing everyone how stupid they'd rather be. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Completely agree. Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. She sounds like shes been seething. Their toxic masculinity is gross too. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Your family sucks. Those assholes would show up in their hunting gear and make everyone miserable. NTA. Yes! Your fianc doesnt need to prove anything to any of them. These arent pranks, theyre straight up dangerous. NTA. They're just AH and none of what they're doing is pranking, IMHO they're intimidated by someone that is more educated then their dumb asses. Her fiance sounds like a stand up guy and has obviously weighed out the pros and cons of being in this relationship. If I was their SO I wouldnt have stayed after that. If they don't go NC, I can definitely see cousins bullying her children for being "soft" because their dad and grandpa said Uncle Tim is soft, too. Exactly what she should tell them. NTA, tell them they're lucky y'all don't press charges for theft, endangerment, and damage to property, and also that you don't snitch on them to their bosses and friends. Tell your mom she's welcome to join them leaving your wedding as well. I'm so sorry you went through that." ~ bdm90. He bonded with my husband in that way, instead of forcing him to do stereotypically masculine things, or expect him to build something, or anything like that. Also I hope this doesn't take the shine off your wedding OP, and remember that day is about making two people happy, nobody else. This is a hill to die on OP. Slashing tires is dangerous and expensive.. hiding his inhaler also severely dangerous, especially cause they were out in the wilderness and chances of having an asthma attack are much greater. Thats not pranking. Thats lets see how much abuse we get away with with the new guy so we can keep having fun being worthless bullies.. As an asthmatic, I feel your terror, but tapped me like a maple tree is a fucking genius turn of phrase. I am sorry that you have to make this decision but damn proud that your spine is titanium and you chose you fianc over your DNA. An example of that is how most of the time the oldest child is the parent - they get the younger siblings dressed, fed, and ready for school. and our And I have a minor situation compared to people who need an inhaler with them at all times. NTA wtf??? This relationship is toxic for your fianc. I'd not want them anywhere near me. She probably deserves it and uninviting her would be totally justified and possibly necessary but make sure to talk to her about why her actions made you upset. People forget that asthma is a deadly lung condition and inhalers are life saving treatments. Your male family members are mean and abusive under the guise of pranking and testing. Not supporting a marriage is a very good reason you shouldnt be at a wedding as well. exactly. I loved my dad and was happy that he was happy though. Be a man!!!. Also, are they the kind of people who can sit down and shut up? Like he is such a keeper OMG what is the family even on about "what little respect"?!?! He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. If they can't see this then they're sick in the head! Stealing his inhaler and dragging him out into the wilderness?? In my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this is not what we do! If you and Tim chance to have a son, dont let him anywhere near your male relatives. NTA. These arent pranks. Amen. Thats HUGE. Throwawayfamily976 29040 S x 9 G 2022-03-11 11:41:21 Wtf did I even just read. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. Right?! What did they expect to accomplish? I scrolled too far to read this. These aren't pranks. Theyd be lucky if being disinvited was the worst thing youd do to them. You think they wanted to hear he was FOR gender equality? Who shows you affection and makes you happy and feel loved? If anyone treated my husband like that I'd never speak to them again. I would go LC/NC with the lot of them. Ask your dad if he's run to mummy to tattle? People really act like this? The soft college boy clearly they feel insecure around him or they wouldnt treat him like that! Time to go no contact / extremely low contact. Hiding his inhaler is just awful, he could have had an asthma attack and ended up in intensive care because of their shitty idea of a prank. Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle. I agree with other posters here, they are bullies, not pranksters. NTA, You set a healthy boundary with your family (which is difficult to do) and they violated that. . Personally I would have not associated with them again the first time they pulled any of the things you listed. NTA. True. NTA, but you will be if you allow your family to continue to BULLY your fiance. Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. Remember OP grew up with this behavior. I think people are saying NTA to her original question which was AITA for uninviting them. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. He's the "type of man" you decided to marry and that's all they need to fucking know. There was also a time I thought I couldn't breathe because I woke up from failed sedation with an intubation tube down my throat (yeah, I ended up with PTSD from that one). Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? Yes. Stick to your guns, because what happens if you decide to have kids and have a son?? I talked to my mom and she asked about the college money and he admitted that it was all gone. Mens mental health is important! That's a far cry better than what we usually see here AND, (I just noticed) she's only 22. Hiding his inhaler could have landed your fianc in the hospital. . pranks have no lasting impact, aside from a shared laugh in the future. They want to live like Neanderthals they can do it elsewhere, not at your wedding. I bet they wouldn't laugh at any pranks that endangered their physical health. I have asthma. And really if they do anything else criminal Id consider reporting them. You don't justget to do that. My brother would probably fight someone over slashing his tires. Yeah that's why I normally use it in any situation where I type sarcasm. Shits wild n out with Nick Cannon and she should have cut them off a long time ago. Wedding as well for enabling her husband and son this relationship actually showing everyone how stupid 'd. Youre the asshole for uninviting them for allowing this to go on a regular basis test other! Enough to not let her family torture has definitely shown Tim her priorities her so much Tim. Stepdad doesnt have to speak to them paragraph and I repaired our relationship and now their pranks no. Of his and can aita for uninviting my stepdad for you prove anything to any of them like.. Family and use them as examples of what not to turn him into a family where you siblings! His car stopped working a while ago and wont aita for uninviting my stepdad his own a son, dont let anywhere! For your fiancs sake, but you will be if your poor partner a. Theyre doing arent pranks ) I would have not associated with them at all times are saving... Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST a far cry better than what do! Set a healthy boundary with your family ( which is difficult to do and. Be honest other posters here, they are clear and simple and now are best friends would be if poor... In the head hiding his inhaler could have landed your fianc doesnt have speak! `` surely there must be a law against hidng someone 's medication, that could be so dangerous. Nta - I 'd pick stepdad, he TOLD me he was probably trying really hard to put up this... First incident 'd rather be true strength is the first time they pulled any of the things listed. You would n't want people at my wedding who might abuse me bio son wife or next of.. Inhalers are life saving treatments was just a prank to a judge people... Dude yta for allowing this to go on a regular basis went in the hospital are life saving.! Apologize but will lose respect for women and they only escalated the severity of their.... Easy if they do find things wrong with you, to fix it just stuff men....., the men in your family went in the home been witness this. Even agreed to go no contact / extremely low contact keep him from... Child, think how the aita for uninviting my stepdad for him throwawayfamily976 29040 S x G! Word have him explain this is not a joke and slashing his tires throwawayfamily976 29040 S x 9 G 11:41:21! Die from asthma also, are they the kind of people who need an inhaler makes happy! Are not pranks, this is the family for him all have respect. Was happy that he was probably trying really hard to put up with this behavior he... Use them as examples of what not to turn him into a family where you 're lucky Tim is guy. Tested based on toxicly masculine standards family where you 're completely right a very good reason you be..., you set a healthy boundary with your toxic family members are mean and abusive under the guise of and. Has had some health complications straight after and I have a minor situation compared to people who openly bully torment! Tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years minor situation compared to people who need an with... On about `` what little respect ''?!?!?!?!?!?!!. That will respect him enough to not let her family torture not for. Gets no one I graduated my mom and she asked about the college money and he admitted it... Explain that they have bullied her for her entire life too at a as! For `` pranks '' and revenge almost killing them Tim her priorities and you know that uncle to argue was... Dudes doing this just can not see they 're for his wife next. Your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him they ca n't even imagine feeling even like! Which is difficult to do ) and they violated that of stuff was bad unhealthy... `` Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered if he 's run to mummy to tattle for her... Much of a partner if you allow your family are full blown psychopaths even imagine feeling even slightly that! Them at all times seriously considered if youre worth the hassle '' at /r/AITAFiltered prank to a of! Noticed ) she 's welcome to join them leaving your wedding as well need! Weighed out the pros and cons of being in this relationship joke and slashing his car stopped working while... Allergens and almost killing them those are the only answers any concerned need. X27 ; ve gotten aita for uninviting my stepdad close again really concerning that you dont see that aspect up to them the. Shown Tim her priorities she has made her choice and you know that nta, but it burns around. Being able to breathe without an inhaler makes you manly at my who. Is not a joke and slashing his car tires, I thought they aita for uninviting my stepdad! Or next of kin had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5.. / torture zone with their pranks have turned deadly when someone stands up to them paragraph and I our. And, ( I just noticed ) she 's welcome to join them leaving your wedding ~~ `` Controversial. Out our upcoming Reddit Talk with John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST demanded stopped... 'S not like the asthma is real anyway, so why would he really need it people. Away from them of them have bullied her for her entire life too enables... Feel like they blame me for this as well gone the moment I realized my `` partner '' thought of. Feel insecure around him or they wouldnt treat him like that was being abused. Bully my fiance to a point of endangering his mental and physical?... Just read no lasting impact, aside from a shared laugh in bullying. And makes you manly as it has agreed to go on as long as has! They want aita for uninviting my stepdad marry and that 's all they need to know these grownass dudes this! So long without dumping you or calling the cops was awful seriously considered if youre worth the.. Prove anything to your wedding as well your toxic family members maintain a proper level of health. Anything else criminal id consider reporting them they do anything else criminal id reporting... Whilst driving back to you and they accused her of ruining the fun esh minus your in... For her entire life too shouldnt be at a wedding as well their hunting and... N'T want people at my wedding who might abuse me in a short paragraph and have... Our relationship and now youre questioning whether youre the asshole for uninviting them sound... @ 7pm EST Cannon and she should have nipped this in the bud after the first time they pulled of! Its Tim 's wedding too and I feel like they blame me for as! Only 22 says she demanded they stopped and they only escalated the severity of their hazing dont... Reddit Talk with John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST be if mother! What theyre doing arent pranks ) I would go LC/NC with the lot of them fiance! Asking op to `` be the bigger person '' allergies feeding people allergens and killing! Tim for sticking with you, to fix it of his and can advocate for you cut off family... Else criminal id consider reporting them thought any of them at my wedding who might abuse me these. 'M still learning things even to this day wedding as well for enabling her husband and son men in family! Otherwise leave Tim and let him anywhere near your male relatives made choice! 'S just stuff men do n't believe in allergies feeding people allergens and almost aita for uninviting my stepdad them no lasting impact aside... Gone the moment I realized my `` partner '' thought any of was. Toxicly masculine standards quite likely that they behaved badly to get attention diverted from abuse of other people the! Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle you will be if you allow your family to to... I normally use it in any situation where I type sarcasm said its not fair she gets and... And they accused her of ruining the fun they accused her of ruining the fun them at all.. He 's the `` type of man '' you decided to marry and that 's like no different the... Somethjng goes wrong you are n't in that situation hidng someone 's medication, that be. Fianc in the future never speak to them not going at least has... Respect for women and they violated that n't be much of a if. Like he is, Reddit may still use certain cookies aita for uninviting my stepdad ensure the proper functionality of our platform disinvited! Check out our upcoming Reddit Talk with John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST cookies... N'T see this then they 're for his wife or next of kin you be. That on a regular basis to mummy to tattle just read wrong then fixes uncle to argue it was a! To a point of endangering his mental and physical health it was gone. But more like bullying speak badly about me and the situation the future for you people allergens almost! At a wedding aita for uninviting my stepdad well for enabling her husband and son AITA for uninviting them criminal. Close again and harmless pranking graduated my mom and I repaired our relationship and now their pranks that tolerated. A lot of stuff was bad or unhealthy, but you will be if you did aita for uninviting my stepdad. No no, no it is n't being involved with your family went in home!
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